*Gin is feeling*
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Thursday, August 14, 2003
3 am.. bertram msg me.. this is funny, i dun really know him but still i think is funny. Duno, but i really amaze me is why can people have such gd communication skills, maybe he is handsome, thus he posses some confidence in his speech.. i duno. He asked me alot of qns, like this and that but how come i can't find anything to talk cock with him? Within such a small talk.. he found out that i am a direct person. well yes i am . Well its true, he said something
butt says:
we nv had a conversation in sch b4 rite?
butt says:
not even a short one
To be exact.. how often have i talk to people i dun know... my circle of friends is small ... yes i know alot of people.. many people seem to know me. How well or how actually they know me, normally is not because of they wan to know me.. just tat they are my friend's friend etc.. i dun socialise. ok i am lousy person.
After so many days of "events".. finally got to blog..
the past few days... i my computer got the wad worm.. nonsense one.. keep count downing whenever it detects my computer got online. But wads funnier , every one seems to got it. i duno wad shit is that that can spread so fast ard. Yes , thanks heaven i manage to dl the solution for it during the count down time.
Acutally nothing much happen that past few days, well alot but i forgot.
12/8/03
I told carol about my job thing. She seems understanding about my decision. I duno if i got the typical Virgo's attitude that once i made up my mind, nothing ever seems to change my mind, ok its stubborn. Thus her understanding makes me feel appreciated. I know its very wrong of me not to tell my parents about my decision of going to work, but I know myself that i want to work, not because of money, but it is for experience. I feel that i am too protected with everything, when i meet obstacles, i am like the flower that is kept in the glasshouse, so pretty and strong yet fragile when u take it out from the glasshouse. It simply will die. I seem to get hit down and affected too easily. Its everything , its the feeling of growing up and doing something that i know is not wrong.
13/8/03
Today is a lousy day.. OOAD sucks.. i hate him ... the way he talk lack of leveling. Some robotic language that makes me sleep. I used to like C++ alot.. but duno why today i completely no mood. I sense something is wrong , i can feel it. Saw that brown guy again in the lift . i stood behind him and keep starting at his back. I saw him again before DBMS practical, from afar, i still can tell mich tat i saw him.. until i saw the girl beside.
Coincidents lead may not indicate that we are fated, it just proves to me that there is someone out there that is supposing good is attached.. :( Maybe the something that i feel wrong about the whole morning is this. Now god signal to me that those coincidents were just coincidents, nothing special, want me not to think too much about it. I can understand, i really can. Its just not time yet.
Actually i dun really feel sad.. i just felt that my metal heart shrunk in size, so sensitive to temperature and seems frozen, makes my whole body cold. God seems to understand me, he is weeping for those coincidents he made. I know he didnt meant to, didnt meant to make my day bad. I still want to thank that great one up there, during this cold day, i still able to sense warmth, when my parents came to drive me home and brought me to eat, and that michy accompany.
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